Past Reflector Gifts

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Pop Culture for Teens

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

"Lucky!"

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."

"For the experiencing self or the remembering self?" "That was nice."

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

"That's just my memory mattress."

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"Twenty years ago, I invited you in for a nightcap. I now retract that invitation."

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."