Tradition Reflector Gifts

"What's that look? C'mon, you're scaring me!"

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

When can you get rid of the crutches? Doctor says now, lawyer says not yet.

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

"I've been to the office..."

"Behave sensibly!"

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

"I can afford to die or I can afford to be sick, but I can't afford to be sick and then die."

'When you smile the whole ... cynical world laughs at you.'

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

Retirement...Retirement...

Would be interested in a job inspecting mirrors? I could see myself doing that.

"I'm going to have to delay any further unlocking."

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

"I guess today separated the wheat from us chaff."

'God's dead. We're closed.'

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

Funk Facts: New Year.

'Maybe I am thick, but I can't understand a woman who gives up her diet for Lent.'

Death of Arafat.

The Origin of Creationism

Bureau of Pursing Missions. They're in charge of financing missionary work.

'Good old middle class sex.'