Tradition Reflector Gifts

"What's that look? C'mon, you're scaring me!"

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

When can you get rid of the crutches? Doctor says now, lawyer says not yet.

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

"Behave sensibly!"

"I've been to the office..."

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

"I can afford to die or I can afford to be sick, but I can't afford to be sick and then die."

'When you smile the whole ... cynical world laughs at you.'

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

Retirement...Retirement...

"I guess today separated the wheat from us chaff."

"I'm going to have to delay any further unlocking."

'God's dead. We're closed.'

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

Funk Facts: New Year.

The Origin of Creationism

'Maybe I am thick, but I can't understand a woman who gives up her diet for Lent.'

Death of Arafat.

'Good old middle class sex.'

"I'm back from my class reunion. Everyone else was unemployed,"