Reflection Reflector Gifts

Would be interested in a job inspecting mirrors? I could see myself doing that.

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

'Control tower, we're having difficulty taking off....'

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

Dog barks at himself in a mirror.

Poet beside a (literally) babbling brook.

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

"Lucky!"

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

"For the experiencing self or the remembering self?" "That was nice."

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

"That's just my memory mattress."

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

'I think we're on different career paths.'

"No land women want me, so I'm off to try my hand in the sea."