Recession Reflector Gifts

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'Less spare change under the cushion is my leading economic indicator!'

Rats Flea a Sinking Ship

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'Control tower, we're having difficulty taking off....'

'If you just keep harping on the *#@!! results, you'll never be able to see what a perfectly sound economic theory it was.'

'I was fine-tuning the economy, and I turned out to be tone deaf.'

'Instead of bankers, divide $700- billion among high schoolers on Friday, they spend it. And by Monday all that money is flowing up rhrough the economy, ending the recession!'

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the stock market goes back up."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'Crisis'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'You can't fire me! I'm too big to fail!'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

'It's not a 20 year low! We've been in business only 19 years.'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"If we didn't send them out to recess after lunch, they wouldn't be full of solar energy all afternoon."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

"Okay, the market took a dive. No reason to panic, Mr. Spielman."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

"Lucky!"