Graduate Reflector Gifts

"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

'I'm writing a novel using our marriage as inspiration. It's called, 'This Sucks'.'

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

"Martin, did we ever get our freak on?"

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

'How does it make you feel when he doesn't acknowledge all the hard work you put into gathering?'

"Lucky!"

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

'I think we're on different career paths.'

"That's just my memory mattress."

"Sometimes I wish I went to a magnet school."

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

"No land women want me, so I'm off to try my hand in the sea."

Corona measures

"Twenty years ago, I invited you in for a nightcap. I now retract that invitation."

"You know what I'd like to try someday? Landlubbing."

"For the experiencing self or the remembering self?" "That was nice."

"When I think about my mom, it hurts here."

"It makes me realize how small you are."

"I've been to the office..."

"You've changed, Howie."