Historical Reflector Gifts

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

Nostalgia: 'In one era..out the other'

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"And remember, if you need anything I'm available 24/6."

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

'This babbling brook reminds me I should probably call my wife.'

An old couple visit a woods where they once carved their name in a tree and discover it has bee cut down.

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

'There is no room in the church for damaged goods Rodney.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

"I can afford to die or I can afford to be sick, but I can't afford to be sick and then die."

"I spent $1,000 on this great painting. And I spent $2,000 on college courses to know why it is great!"

'When you smile the whole ... cynical world laughs at you.'

'We've all read the report cover to cover. Anyone read all that stuff in the middle?'

"I bet that under your preachy, holier-than-thou attitude is another preachy, holier-than-thou attitude."

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"I was so busy worrying that she only loved me because of my money that I lost her AND the money!"

'God's dead. We're closed.'

Retirement...Retirement...

Would be interested in a job inspecting mirrors? I could see myself doing that.

"What's that look? C'mon, you're scaring me!"

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

Death of Arafat.

Bureau of Pursing Missions. They're in charge of financing missionary work.

"Oh, that's just the pedestal your father used to put me on."

The Origin of Creationism