Passport Traveler Gifts

'New biometrics passport photos - guaranteed not to make you look like a criminal.'

Pre-Plastic Surgery Passports

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Off to see the world

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

Vaccination Passport

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

Virtual Beach

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

'Anything to declare?'

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

Sunbathing Easter Island Heads

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

'What a bargain!'

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

'Father maybe gone some time.'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

Bev puts on an old favorite

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

"My husband's a lawyer. He's always losing cases."