Passport Perfectionist Gifts

'Frankly, I've never left the country because of my lousy passport photo.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Build Your Own Portfolio

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."