Postal Perfectionist Gifts

'Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stops the mail from going through ... but inefficiency sure does.'

Bullseye!

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

Fragile stamper.

Bumper stickers: 'Keep on Truckin''; 'Keep on Trunkin''.

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"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Writer

Poetry repairman

Deadlines, Inc.

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Seinfeld: The Early Years.

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

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