Paper Perfectionist Gifts

Nancy had written more pages, but Andrew had stacked his more neatly.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Bullseye!

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Poetry repairman

Deadlines, Inc.

Writer

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Job Security

"It needs a lot of editing."

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

Litter BinDesk Organiser

Boss hands over document: 'There are too many abbreviations in your report ? can you rewrite it asap?'

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.