Paper Perfectionist Gifts

Nancy had written more pages, but Andrew had stacked his more neatly.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Bullseye!

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Deadlines, Inc.

Writer

Poetry repairman

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

"It needs a lot of editing."

Job Security

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

Litter BinDesk Organiser

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.