Paper Perfectionists Gifts

'I looked at your resume and the good news is I like the paper it was typed on. Do you really want to know the bad news?'

"Sigh. Again with the origami!"

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Bullseye!

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'In,' 'Out' and 'Organize.'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Writer

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Deadlines, Inc.

Poetry repairman

'Our expenses have decreased 20 per cent since we started refilling our own ink jet cartridges.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

It turns out people aren't buying our product because it's stupid.

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

Job Security

"It needs a lot of editing."

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'