Passport Aficionados Gifts

"I'm sorry, but we want a recent photo showing your neck in full."

Late BroomStick

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

El Greco

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

Old woman knocks down man because she didn't have enough gas to go around him.

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Self driving car containing a baby elephant

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

Chicken Road Crossing

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

'In retrospect naming the business after me probably wasn't a good idea,'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

"I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get any human specimens, but I think our leaders will be quite pleased with the snow globe and the commemorative spoon."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

'Last cruise I ever take! Stuck with the same people for three weeks...'

'Empty your pockets and go through again.'

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

"Oh, Genie. I'm ready to make my final wish now."

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

Three witches standing around a carafe in a coffee machine, waiting for it to fill

"Okay, I admit it. You are a good dog."

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

"The only spells she does anymore are the Gospels."