Passport Aficionados Gifts

"I'm sorry, but we want a recent photo showing your neck in full."

Late BroomStick

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

El Greco

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

Old woman knocks down man because she didn't have enough gas to go around him.

Chicken Road Crossing

Self driving car containing a baby elephant

"But I don't have any wishes related to food or squirrels."

'In retrospect naming the business after me probably wasn't a good idea,'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

'Empty your pockets and go through again.'

'Last cruise I ever take! Stuck with the same people for three weeks...'

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

"Oh, Genie. I'm ready to make my final wish now."

"I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get any human specimens, but I think our leaders will be quite pleased with the snow globe and the commemorative spoon."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

'The good news is Prof. Trockenficker has found the secret of eternal youth. The bad news is it will make everybody look exactly like him.'

"Okay, I admit it. You are a good dog."

'My anger counselor wants to talk to your anger counselor.'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"