Party Skeptics Pillows

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"I was proud of you tonight. You were just hostile enough."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Politicians are from Uranus.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

BAILOUTS 'R' US (Formerly US Department of the Treasury)

Man with t-shirt: 'I think, therefore I don't vote'

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

"Thank you for not praying."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

QANON PROUD BOY

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

Politics section of a library: 'Lies', 'Lies', or 'Damn Lies'.

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

Warning! All Manifestos May Contain Traces of Truth.

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

'Well, besides 'liar, liar, pants on fire', how do you feel about our candidate?'

'It's from that guy we voted in at the last election.'

"I stockpiled all my guns, just in case tyranny came to America. Well, it's here!"

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

'I knew I shouldn't have come. That Maximus, throws the worst orgies!'