Two-party Skeptic Pillows

VOTE: Democrat, Republican, Other.

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Politicians are from Uranus.

"God works in mysterious ways."

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Progress?

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

'...Well if this is heaven, why aren't you using a Mac?'

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

Man with t-shirt: 'I think, therefore I don't vote'

QANON PROUD BOY

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

If everyone agrees with you, you're probably wrong.

Politics section of a library: 'Lies', 'Lies', or 'Damn Lies'.

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

Fish "I hate going back to school"

'Well, besides 'liar, liar, pants on fire', how do you feel about our candidate?'

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

'It's from that guy we voted in at the last election.'

"I stockpiled all my guns, just in case tyranny came to America. Well, it's here!"