Political Skeptics Pillows

"I stockpiled all my guns, just in case tyranny came to America. Well, it's here!"

The New Face of Political Campaigns

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Politicians are from Uranus.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'The government is telling us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets within the next 6 months!'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"Oh! I thought that was our party manifesto..."

'No 'Natural Environment,' next 127 miles - Govt. test study.'

'Don't tell me what Aristotle says. He still believes men have more teeth than women.'

"I have every confidence that the measures taken will encourage spending..."

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Creationist president: 'We have to cut the budget, so I'm keeping the astrologer, and letting thge astronomer go.'

QANON PROUD BOY

Man with t-shirt: 'I think, therefore I don't vote'

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

BAILOUTS 'R' US (Formerly US Department of the Treasury)

"The minister has instructed us to get rid of 43% of meaningless targets in the next 43 days." "Could we start with that one?"

Politics section of a library: 'Lies', 'Lies', or 'Damn Lies'.

"We should have copies of all the latest manifestos Sir. Try the horror, fantasy and science fiction section."

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

Newt, a man of ideas. . . We didn't say they were good ideas.

"Perhaps it's a bit early to tell, but I'll bet the Presidential visit changes nothing."

'Well, besides 'liar, liar, pants on fire', how do you feel about our candidate?'

'Okay kids, this is the new timetable.'