Surprise Party Skeptics Club Pillows

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

Crime Writer's Society.

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

No atheists in Heaven.

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

Family Tree DNA Test

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"I stockpiled all my guns, just in case tyranny came to America. Well, it's here!"

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

"Oh for God's sake Peter, do remove your feet from the table."

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

"Ned's a lot more fun to live with since he stopped believing ANYTHING he sees on the internet."

"It tells me if your bill is fake or not."

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'How do I know you're legit?'

Procrastinators Anonymous - Postponed

"These office parties are overrated. The stupid comments, idle chit chat, dumb looks...just like any old work day."

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

What is an expert?

Your dire prediction in this space. 1-555-826-1000

"I was proud of you tonight. You were just hostile enough."

'This is all just some political scare-tactic.'

Door-to-Door Agnostic

'Am I the only one who's uneasy about this?'