Party Diplomat T-Shirts

"Sir, you're the most likely candidate but your campaign slogan...'Neither left nor right but round...'"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'Let's arbitrate.'

"Does anyone second the motion to make family meetings more informal?"

Church sign.

Bipartisan.

"That's not a math lesson. That's just some notes to myself."

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.