Partner With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

Skeleton playing fetch.

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

A Truism's Journey

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'What really stung is when they wanted the Magna Carta notarized!'

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."

'How did you guess? Of course it's rented!'

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

"So, the rumors are true. He is faster than a speeding bullet."

Cat using mousetraps

'I offered to help with your tie, but oh no, you had to do it yourself...'

'You're the most self-absorbed egomaniac it's ever been my misfortune to know.' 'I'm beginning to think we're on different wavelengths.'

Extreme Accounting!

The last argument - Did not/Did too.

"Goodnight, dear. Goodnight, Scooter. Goodnight, erection."

"Being an estate agent, I should have know you'd exaggerate everthing!"

"Why must you always pre-empt my nightmares?"

Honey, hurry up, the baby-sitter's here...

'Hello dear, what are you doing home on halloween? Shouldn't you be out on your broomstick?'

"If it's fresh air you want, my flat's air-conditioned..."

'My last boyfriend used to run out of petrol in much nicer surroundings.'

Window Treatments - Glass Curtain

"Believe me, there's no 'Hot Looking Woman' living here!"