Humorous Partner Pillows

"Darling, when I booked a date night I didn't say it would be with you."

'How did you guess? Of course it's rented!'

"Being an estate agent, I should have know you'd exaggerate everthing!"

'I'm sorry, he can't come down the pub right now...he's under house arrest'

"If it's fresh air you want, my flat's air-conditioned..."

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

Skeleton playing fetch.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Mixed Doubles.

Holding hands

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Advanced footsie

Love.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Puppy Love

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"I love the way these safari trips bring out the animal in you, darling."

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

'Henry, cut that out.'

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

You are simply the Greatest