Participation Medal Collector Pillows

"Isn't it wonderful how they've taken the pressure off the children by only requiring they come close?"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

The Victors

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

The one that got away

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Military Medals

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

Award Winning Gardener

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Cat Show

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Win - win

Dad Trophies

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'I was in the catering corps.'

'Guess what? I won again.'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Pinata Trophies

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

First Prize!

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

Happy Champion

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'