Parks Department Staff Gifts

'We've had complaints about your sensory garden for the blind.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

"The Nominees"

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

Closed for Renovation

In the art gallery

The hall of bad ideas.

"He's left out the staples"

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

Modigliani's Giraffe

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

Killer whale with dead trainer

'Can I see your license,please?'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

Damien Hirst Cafe

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Museum of Commerce and gift shop.

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

"Err..the exhibits are this way, dear"

Cleaner cleaning up the paintings in a gallery.

"Where did you last have everything?"

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

"That's the fire alarm. . ."

"I just think it would be a better painting if there were a short, humorous caption underneath."

'Don't' Feed the Animals' sign with a saw in it.