Parks Department Staff T-Shirts

'We've had complaints about your sensory garden for the blind.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"The Nominees"

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

Closed for Renovation

"He's left out the staples"

The hall of bad ideas.

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

In the art gallery

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Modigliani's Giraffe

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

Killer whale with dead trainer

'Can I see your license,please?'

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

Damien Hirst Cafe

Museum of Commerce and gift shop.

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

"Err..the exhibits are this way, dear"

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Pass my Mallet.'

"I just think it would be a better painting if there were a short, humorous caption underneath."

"That's the fire alarm. . ."

Cleaner cleaning up the paintings in a gallery.

"Where did you last have everything?"