Parkrun Procrastinator Gifts

"At least I don't need to waste time inventing reasons not to go on a parkrun anymore."

''Yeah, mine's a rescue dog too.''

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

Easy chair exercise machines

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Holiday Shopping for Guys

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."