Parents Of A Toddler Gifts

Child wanting to play with traditional toys.

A young Don King

The Baby Walker

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'Three little kids and their first words. Can you find out which one is the British kid?'

Early Night Club

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

Stroller Cellphone

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'We're letting you board first so the rest of the passengers will know where not ... uh, to sit.'

Childhood's End

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

"Mum...I have to do number five million, seven hundred and twenty seven thousand, six hundred and twenty ones!"

"Choo choo doesn't work any more. Try money!"

Kangaroos: 'How are the twins? 'They keep me hoppin'!'

Tantrum

'I don't think those apps have made Junior smarter.'

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

American Toddlers vs British Toddlers

'I went to school with Mary today: Boy that was fun!!' (colour)

"Charles — we missed you at playgroup."

'Oh, it's great. They're always finishing each other's sentences,they wear all the same clothes... course one of them's an idiot.'

'Gimme a drink! His screeching siren stuck,coming back from the shops.'

"Ooooh, Mommy...do these things come with instructions?"