Parent Of A Toddler Gifts

'Oh dear, still not talking.'

'Do I need to practice for the flight I'm going to scream on?'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

A young Don King

Swan Fairy Tales

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'Three little kids and their first words. Can you find out which one is the British kid?'

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Early Night Club

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

"Before we start on the main agenda does anybody need money to take them to the tinkle room?"

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

'Do these come in blue?'

Stroller Cellphone

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

A dolls house with a working chimney.

Teddy sweeping up zzz

'We're letting you board first so the rest of the passengers will know where not ... uh, to sit.'

Childhood's End

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'Ooh look, the tweenies have just turned into footballers!'