Parenting Wit Pillows

Two breasts: No waiting

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Trick or Tweet

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"