Parenting Quirks Pillows

"I'll hold the kid eventually. I just don't want it to develop a false sense of entitlement."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Where's your nose?"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'Monster mobiles.'

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

Oops.

'Man pushing pram with baby.'