Parenting Prepper Gifts

Army Recruitment: 'Right Son, kick once if you want signals and twice if you want to go in the infantry.'

Family Planning - "Have you tried sex yet ?"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Which one's yours?"

S.O.S. vaccine

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

Prepper Dog

Holiday Gifts 2020

Trick or Treatment.

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"Oh for goodness sake, Walter...speak up when the minister asks you a question!"

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

Safe harbour

Hazmat suit

Sourdough starter. Mask-making supplies. Everything else

Chicken Noodle sold out.

"I didn't go anywhere this summer. I was home-camped."

Transmitting Swine Flu.

'Mom, I now know the biological reason we're pregnant for 9 months. It takes at least that long to get used to the idea of being a parent.'

'I'd chalk it up to just another crazy backyard hobby...'

"See if our visitor is wearing a mask and listen for coughing while the door knob takes their temperature!"

101 Placenta Recipes

Back to Zoom Savings

'I want to be ready when the sea level rises!'

Virus Travel Agency. 'Doorknob OK?'

"The flu is coming! The flu is coming!"

"No fair! How come Baldo gets his class schedule before school starts?"

"Today our quest continues for someone who can come up with a solution for dealing with the partisan gridlock in Washington."