Parenting Paradox Enthusiast Gifts

A Very Shocking Boy, Indeed!

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Suffering from Cooties?

Coronavirus Impact on Children

I love my family!

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Growth Charts

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

Crying baby

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

Two children play with a pedal bin

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Early childhood development

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

Lemming mothers

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood