Parenting Paradox Enthusiast T-Shirts

A Very Shocking Boy, Indeed!

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

Suffering from Cooties?

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

Growth Charts

I love my family!

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

Two children play with a pedal bin

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

Crying baby

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

Early childhood development

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

Lemming mothers

'It wouldn't be right if I did your homework for you!' 'At least you could try!'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"My first Father's day!"