Parental Chaos Enthusiast Gifts

'It's the Neighbourhood Watch..."

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

Supermom meets her match - super kid.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

The Family Joules: Part 16

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I need to know who started it."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

Two children play with a pedal bin

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

'Twiiiiiiiiins!!!!'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

Feeding the baby

'Found her. Keeping her.'

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'