Parenting Ninja Gifts

'Ugh Not Again!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"When calling doesn't work, spot and stalk is the best way to get him into bed."

"Look, it's just a cold. . . ok?. . . It is not, I repeat, not! The Coronavirus."

"I don't care if you're an alpha male now! I'm still your mother and you'll do as you're told! Got it?!"

"The birds and the bees? I'd rather learn about sex."

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

Getting what you need without passing the toy section.

Mum outside the baby's room saying 'shush' - but the baby is wide awake.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

"Music lessons, gymnastics, horseback riding... your extra curriculum activities are my extra vehicular activities!"

Anger Disposal Experts sent in a remote control operated unit to defuse Ralph's tantrum.

'There was a riot in my neighborhood last week. It took me an hour to get my five children under control.'

New Mothers and Priorities

How to Talk to Your Kids About Drugs

Working Moms Diner

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

Newborn's TV.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Coping with a strong-willed child

'What's play?'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

Fitness Programme for babies

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Playing Mozart to the baby.

Batman's Baby

"I'm so good at this!"

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'