Parental Patience Ninja Gifts

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"I'm so good at this!"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'Ugh Not Again!'

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

Anger Disposal Experts sent in a remote control operated unit to defuse Ralph's tantrum.

'Oh, don't even think about living life vicariously through me!'

'It's hard to believe that at home, she's a mommy.'

"I've had it with the nineties!"

Driver being taught by impatient parent

'There was a riot in my neighborhood last week. It took me an hour to get my five children under control.'

New Mothers and Priorities

"Quick! ...Do it now!"

Woman Breast-Feeding Two Babies & Third Child Sucking Breast-Shaped Ice Cream

"Look, it's just a cold. . . ok?. . . It is not, I repeat, not! The Coronavirus."

"As a child, Timothy would often test his mother’s patience."

Sandwich Shop

Mum outside the baby's room saying 'shush' - but the baby is wide awake.

Working Moms Diner