Parental Patience Gifts

Driver being taught by impatient parent

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Test your patience, back in one hour.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"I think my Harry must be practicing some sort of Tantric fishing. He'll be at it for hours and not catch a thing."

Margaret got tired of waiting for her ‘slow-brew' tea.

"Please fill out these forms. We don't need them for anything, but you're making me nervous staring at your watch."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

'He was a physician, but because of all the difficult patients he gave it up and became a veterinarian.'

"Are you going to move?"

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'You've made fine progress since morning. You'll be first in line tomorrow.'

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"Sorry about the long wait, but good news. Other than long waits in waiting rooms, I can't find any other causes for your irritability."

Taking blood pressure

"I've had it with the nineties!"

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'