Parental Patience Champion Gifts

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

Fishing.

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

The First Day Back

Fathers are Heroes

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

'He's got his shoes on the wrong feet again.'

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

'I came untucked.'

Father's Day

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

Driver being taught by impatient parent

"I've had it with the nineties!"

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

"As a child, Timothy would often test his mother’s patience."

"Yea, mom, knows everything...she's momnipotent."

Zipper complimenting zip child: "Ah, she's a cute as a button!"

"I don't care if this is the kid cave, Robert. Pick up your stuff."

'You know what? I agree with my son's opinion of you.'

"It's just a phase."

'School's out... the adventure begins!'

'I just wish she wouldn't walk us to school.'

Naughty boy