Parenting Negotiator Gifts

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"But it will never get better if you picket"

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

Unison plans strikes

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'If you let me read the SPORTS section, I just may consider moving.'

"Come on dad, there's no need to go all 'Successiony' on me."

"Here comes the ambassador now!"

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."