Parenting Negotiator Gifts

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

"I'll go back to school if you go back to the office."

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

"But it will never get better if you picket"

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

'Only two cookies? What is this -- a quota system?'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

Unison plans strikes

You need to stay home and study. Mom! It's an educational opportunity

"We want to make sure that your wish for us to give you grandchildren has nothing to do with your concerns about future vacancies at your chicken processing plant."

"You call it training, I call it an apprenticeship. Now pay up."

'If you let me read the SPORTS section, I just may consider moving.'

"Here comes the ambassador now!"

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."