Parenting Journeys Gifts

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Suffering from Cooties?

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"I'm so good at this!"

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'This is not fair, mom. . . none of my friends is forced to hibernate before December.'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

Preparing for a new arrival

Biological Alarm Clock.

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Why are you special? Because I'm your mommy, and I'm special."

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

Please take a number.

They Removed my Brain.

The relay race