Parenting Journey Navigator Gifts

"Tommy next door just kissed me, Mom...does that mean I'm going to get pregnant too?"

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

Mountain Dads

The relay race

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

"...Mom, can you get me a glass of wine?"

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"My mom used to be an excellent housekeeper, but I put a stop to that."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"We do all our own parenting."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

'Baby escape.'

'Okay, but if you hadn't made me eat my vegetables, I wouldn't need to brush my teeth!'