Parenting Journey Gifts

"My teacher noticed you weren't at parent-teacher night . She wanted to ask why I never take an interest in anything."

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

"I'm sorry Perkins,but that's one option for childbirth we won't be using."

"Do as I say, not as I dodo."

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'

"We do all our own parenting."

'You have great talks everyday??'

"If you need help with your homework ask your father...and he'll ask me."

'I've had it for the last seventeen years.'

'Baby escape.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.

'Really? You're encouraging him to do manual labor?'

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

'How long did you intern with Grandma before you became a full-fledged Mom?'

Cell phone.

"I'm making a scrapbook to document the most embarrassing moments of your life."

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

Priest and nun have a priest child.

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

'Don't mind the baby. She's teething.'

"My mom used to be an excellent housekeeper, but I put a stop to that."

'I knew it was Bing's baby right from the start...'

Mountain Dads

"Come now, Gracie! Squash is a great vegetable...it can be fried, sliced, baked, steamed or boiled...before you refuse to eat it."

"It's the tough decisions I hate...do I buy the steak or put the money towards the kids' college fund?"

"My birth was such a shock to me . . . I couldn't talk for two years."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

On Weekdays. . . On Weekends

The relay race

"Someday, you'll act like you understand."