Parenting Comic Lover Gifts

Baby tells other Baby to call.

Doctor has the taste for patients urine samples.

'Can't you do something about her?'

"You're making me feel old the amount of water I'm passing in the night!"

"Mum, are we keeping all of them?"

"It was dark, damp and cramped - why did you lock me in there for nine months??!..."

"Yes, I'm wearing a cowbell. It's just until my mom figures out a way to track me on my phone."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

International Women's Day

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

No-Work Orange

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six