New Parent Comic Enthusiast Gifts

He'd make a good father someday. Not today, but someday.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

Billy. The Kid.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Atomic Bear: Part 22

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Atomic Bear: Part 21

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

Bingo's Time Out - Part Three

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

Fearless Frog Part 12

Atomic Bear: Part 14

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

"Have you met my bodyguard?"