Parenting Comedy Gifts

"No wonder he won't stop crying. That's the wrong end, you idiot."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"For the last time, stand up straight and wipe your carrot."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'I don't like where this is headed.'

Baby Teething.

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

Trick or Tweet

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Use your inside scream."

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"