Parenting Chaos Navigator T-Shirts

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Signs of Stress

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

Two children play with a pedal bin

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children