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Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

'What do you mean we can't have custody of the children?'

"Oh, you do it that way, do you?"

Travelling with child Sketchbook - day 1

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"No dear, those are pacifiers, not ears plugs."

Tired parents

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Family Joules: Part 16

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"She just asked me if she could have a few friends in to watch the International Horse Show."

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

The sofa freshly made up...

'It wasn't premeditated.

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

'Let's get this party started!'

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"