Parenting Champ Gifts

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

Father's Day

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

The First Day Back

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'School's out... the adventure begins!'

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

Parenting Business Deals

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

Fathers are Heroes

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

Nanny with children on leash