Modern Parenting Champions Gifts

"You gave him his own social media account? That's adorable!"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

The First Day Back

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

Fathers are Heroes

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

Phone Mittens

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

'Mother will catch you!'

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."