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'Don't you realize, Jason, that when you throw furniture out of the window and tie your sister to a tree, you make Mommy and Daddy very sad.'

"Mother, I get enough pressure from my peer group without getting it from you."

'Hey?!'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"His room is always clean. Do you think we should take him to a psychologist?"

"Go ask your mother."

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

A Victorian park.

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

"Don't make me come over there."

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

"I'm confused....you always say not to take candy from strangers, but tonight you tell me to go to strangers and ask for candy!"

'Your phone isn't wireless, Dad. I found some wires in it right here.'

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

‘Sat too close to the TV;’ ‘Stared at the Sun For an Hour,’ ‘Put Out My Eye With a BB Gun.’

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."

'People must be crazy to pay to hear a lecture! I get 'em free at home every day!'

'Congradulations, daddy! Daddy! Daddy!'

'My parents try so hard to do the right things for me, but, unfortunately, they're always wrong.'

'Mum,are we born from an egg?' 'No honey. People bring us at night'