Parental Advice Seeker T-Shirts

'Don't be silly. Storks don't leave babies at homes. They leave them at hospitals.'

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"You're getting older now. We need to discuss the Pterodactyles and the bees."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'He never listened to his mother!'

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

"Your inability to turn off your critical voice, combined with your fear of disappointing your overbearing, demanding father, is causing you to lose faith in your fastball."

"Go ask your mother."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"And I suppose if your friends all jumped off a cliff you'd follow right along?"

"Do you provide any coupons that would allow me one free lie? It would help ease my conscience."

'I don't mind them, but I would like to see my daughter getting married to one of them!'

"Don't make me come over there."

A Victorian park.

"They grow so fast. In my day, you didn't become morbidly obese until adulthood."

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

'It's making me happy.'

"Mother, I get enough pressure from my peer group without getting it from you."

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

‘Sat too close to the TV;’ ‘Stared at the Sun For an Hour,’ ‘Put Out My Eye With a BB Gun.’

"Oi you two! What going on in here?"

"Mom, my student loans are so high, I was wondering if I could start doing chores again for an allowance."

"I don't have a story, Tommy. I can offer a retrospective of your day, followed by a deep-dive to identify opportunities for improvement."

"Baldo, school has always been about learning, expanding your mind, becoming a better person."

'Careful Darling, my mum always said 'beware of strangers bearing gifts'...'

'Mum,are we born from an egg?' 'No honey. People bring us at night'

'You won't understand it now, but when you have kids, you'll wish for a longer school day.'

'People must be crazy to pay to hear a lecture! I get 'em free at home every day!'

'I should have listened to my parents and not run away to join the circus...'