Parenting Wisdom Seeker T-Shirts

"Go ask your mother."

"And you call yourself a marsupial?"

"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."

'You won't understand it now, but when you have kids, you'll wish for a longer school day.'

'Mum,are we born from an egg?' 'No honey. People bring us at night'

'That kid just said because my parents are a dish and a fork, that makes me a DORK.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

'My kids don't understand me.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'Don't come crying to me, son. I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you stayed out in the sun all day.'

'He was raised by sparrows!'

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Son, it's time you grew some legs and moved out.

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

'Looks like Timmy got solitary.'

'My mom just explained babies to me. I'm not sure, but I think I'm a bird and you're a bee.'

Baby Philosophy.

"His room is always clean. Do you think we should take him to a psychologist?"

'We're not paprazzi. We're your parents.'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

Ingredients: me

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

"I'll tell you what: I'll clean up your room, you clean up my laptop."

"Does school choice include whether he gets a tenured teacher?"

"Sorry, son. . . You're not getting the keys to the car until you show me you're mature enough to bring it back completely totaled."