Parenthood Racers Gifts

Baby Race.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Baby pram as a tank

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"My inner child feels threatened by my inner baby."

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

Woman Window Shops For A Baby Book

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

IVF assessment centre.

Maternity Ward: No Returns/No Exchanges

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

"Congratulations, you're expecting triplets."